I have been experiencing some internal conflict throughout this pregnancy, and it all relates back to whether or not I am ready to have another baby yet, or not. Truth be told, it is too late to be having these thoughts considering that in 10 weeks another one is on it's way, but I am sure that it is perfectly normal to have these thoughts.
Anyways, I have become the "pregnant woman and baby specialist" in the chiropractic clinic that I work in, so I get anywhere from 3-6 of this special population a week. Usually, when I am adjusting a prego patient, I am like, "Geez, sucks to be them, they have the tightest piriformis muscle I have felt all week," and then I am like, "Oh wait, I am pregnant too, and my back is killing me." I coach them on coming to see me OFTEN to assure a healthy pregnancy, delivery, and ultimately baby. And then I remember to go schedule MY appt. Then, I get the little babies, and I think, "Wow, I am SO HAPPY to be past that baby stage." And then it hits me--in a few weeks, I have to start all over again. Whatever. It is a weird vicious cycle. However, the other day, I was blessed with a feeling of being at ease..... and ready.
I had two munchkins right in a row--one was a few weeks old, and the other a few months. I was going about my business, walking around the room with them in hand to "make friends" with them first, and then adjust them. I was overwhelmed with the feeling of, "I can do this again," and then "I am ready." One of my interns that assisted me asked me afterwards if I was okay, and I just replied with a smile. :)
What a great way to start my countdown of "T minus 10 weeks and counting." Ready or not, here it comes! And thank God, I AM READY!
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4 comments:
Yahoo!! Cara, I am so happy to read this.
I know you're going to do a great job!
I've been thinking about this since I read it yesterday.
The "ready" feeling comes and goes for me.
At least we're all in it together!
Oh Honey.... I don't know you but would give you a hug anyway!!! In regards to your comment on my blog: I promise.
Our first baby, Isaiah, was prayed for, tried for and anticipated EVERY second of his life. I'm not exagerating on the EVERY second part either. We loved him so much and we both "secretly" wanted a boy. Yeah God!
We lost two babies to miscarriage after Isaiah was born. Those two babies were "tried" for as well. At that point I was done. done. The only reason I knew we were expecting Anna is because I'd been pregnant three times before and knew. I had one test left in the closet and I took it. It was positive. I sat down right where I was in the bathroom and my reaction to Anna's life was sooo very different from before. I was scared the whole pregnancy. I didn't know if she were a boy or girl but was nervous for a girl. I ended up being diabetic w/ Anna. I knew I'd need a second c-sect. for her and after I relized she would most likely make it to her delivery day I thougth I would not make it through a surgery and I didn't want to be taken away from my little boy.
I hope I'm not freaking you out but I'm trying to say we didn't ask for Anna, she was given to us. I didn't anticipate her delivery because at first I didn't think we'd even make it that far. I just wanted my boy. Ya know what though? I prayed that God would give me love for her and that I'd love her just as much as I loved Isaiah. And I did. I do. They are such different people and we couldn't imagine our lives w/out either of them. I cried because I loved her so much. I remember the nurse walking into my hosp. room and thinking something was wrong. I said, "Nothing's wrong I just love my little dolly so much and I can't keep it in anymore." I think I even dripped tears on Anna's little cheek I was crying so much.
I promise you will love your next little person just as much. It may be in different ways but the amount will be the same. I hope this helped and didn't make anything worse? I never know how much to say to mom's who are waiting to meet their little people.
Katie, what a wonderful encouragement.
Thank you so much (and I'm only on my first!).
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